I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize