Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
do herpes really smell.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
