How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do vagina's smell?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize