You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
