We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Life is so much better after having sex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
