Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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