The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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