I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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