Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
