It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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