Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
