Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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