Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
