woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
