So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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