Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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