Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
