I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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