Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
