But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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