Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
