ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
