Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
