Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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