He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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