Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize