Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
