Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
