im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
