waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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