he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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