I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
