i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
