How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
