if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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