I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
