I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
