Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
