Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
