Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
