So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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