Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
