This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Where is the hickey?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
