There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
FUCK WHALES
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
