Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
