If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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