Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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