wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
