he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
