i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
