How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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