love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
