I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
