sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
