I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize