It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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