Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My life is pants optional.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
