Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
