How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
