Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
