She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
