I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
